As we are winding down 2009, I have to sit back and reflect. I would normally say that I am a "glass half full" kind of person, but after this last year, I'm having a hard time seeing the glass at all.
The one positive thing that has happened was Mike was hired back at GMAC and so we didn't have to have an extensive job search.
There are so many things in our lives that have happened that we haven't been able to share with anyone. To help them understand our reactions and reasons. Way to many things to carry for yourself. Personally, I'm at the end of the rope with no knot in it. I've quit looking for a bright spot in the day, now I'm happy for just a spot. Everything that we have had to give us support has been taken away. So, what's the point.
Now before you all go crazy, I'm not going to do anything dumb---I'm just emotionally spent.....absolutely spent.....I do not want any more surprises coming our way....any more valleys to be in. Honestly, I don't know that we have every left the valley we started in in January....it just became a deeper and deeper valley.
I know at the end of the year and at the Christmas season you should be rejoicing and celebrating.....but honestly, it's just not there. I don't care who gets what or even when they get it. I've definitely lost my "joy" and I am to tired to try and find it.
I hope that you have had an enjoyable year and that 2010 holds even more happiness for you.....
Until 2010.
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2 comments:
I stumbled across your blog through facebook. I'm not sure if you remember who I am.....
I have been in your shoes, at the end of your rope with no knot in it. With nothing in sight to help....no where to turn, no hope, I did loose my joy! I let others steal that from me. The only hope I had was Jesus Christ. Without him, I would not be here!!
Hang onto Him.....and He will pull you through.
I guess I should let you know who I am...Marlene (Kampman) Wilson.
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